Marcus and I were born and raised in North Carolina. We married in Rock Hill, SC (25 minutes outside of Charlotte, NC) almost three years ago. We resided in Charlotte for about four years until we decided to move on to our next journey out of state. If you’ve been following along with us on social media, you may have seen that we moved to Texas last year and recently moved again.
Since dating, we’ve always had the itch to move, but something would always come up — like Marcus needing to close some business investments or us second guessing the idea of moving across the country away from family. It wasn’t until the idea of moving became an actual reality one day Marcus and I, sold everything we owned, packed up our car and moved to Texas.
During the transition, we both were a little weary and concerned about how the move would affect our marriage. We were still newlyweds, trying to figure out one another, while trying to build a strong foundation for our union. However, we were determined to follow God’s plan for our lives. On this journey, we would truly see how depending on one another would be a test of our love.
Here’s what we learned along the way:
Have patience with one another. Healthy marriages grow and change. According to the experts, couples go through six or more stages of marriage throughout a lifetime. Some stages hold excitement and promises; while others hold confusion and disappointments.
Patience in marriage begins with the individual. Everyone doesn’t handle change the same way, especially as it relates to moving. We had to learn the key to being patient with one another — giving one another space while still nurturing our connection.
Keep your sense of humor. Moving is frustrating and takes a lot of energy. We made sure to keep each other afloat by not forgetting our sense of humor. Marcus and I have always made each other laugh.
When we first started dating, we would sit up for hours on top of hours giving each other our best “Yo Mama Jokes” — So, laughter is something we cherish in our relationship, but it’s hard when everything that could possibly go wrong does. We had to quickly remind each other how to just live in the moment despite our circumstances.
Be open to new experiences. Getting to know your life partner is a big commitment and not one that should be taken lightly. For as long as I can remember, Marcus always talked about his passion for leading and teaching others. I think it’s important to know the woman/man you marry — their ambition, their WHY, and their purpose in life.
We loved everything about Texas however, because we were OPEN to new experiences, we were blessed with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that just so happened to be in Seattle, WA.
Continue to pray together and express your love for one another daily. Our spiritual walks have always been important to us and our marriage. We believe praying together has strengthen the bond of our marriage and held our marriage together during difficult days. MOVING is STRESSFUL but moving across the country is even more STRESSFUL. However, we both knew that we had to keep GOD in the center of our marriage.
Every day, and I do mean EVERY DAY, we made sure we said, ” I love you, ” not just once but several times. We didn’t say it just to say it but because we knew those words carry true meaning.
We’ve been here in Seattle for a few months now. I can’t believe I am writing this, a country girl from Parkersburg, NC who now lives in Seattle, WA. While we are still trying to adjust and process back-to-back moves from one state to another, I can honestly say we are STRONGER and WISER than ever before. Marcus has become better at communicating his thoughts and feelings, as I now have the opportunity to fully offer him support, personally, emotionally and even professionally. I’m glad we both agreed to give this move a chance. It’s been really refreshing to see everything fall into place as we obey God’s will over our marriage.
Let me try to explain the emotions we had attempting to move from one state to another. Trust me, we had our moments— our days. I can also admit that sometimes we’ve had weeks where being together seemed close to impossible! The decision to move to Seattle brought about an episode of us constantly butting heads— unable to find any compromise. I felt like I was in a LOVE & WAR movie starring, The Rountrees. Did we still love each other? Absolutely! Yet, there were times when love just wasn’t enough. Imagine running straight into a brick wall full of anger and hurt. We’re HUMAN. I wasn’t ready for this move, but it was exactly what I needed.
Honestly, it has taken me a while to acknowledge the bad in my marriage. It’s been a long journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything. This journey has led me to a place of self-awareness. But not just for me. I began to get to know and understand our desires, visions, goals, stressors, and emotions. I’ve realized we were finally creating a foundation to secure inner peace, cultivate confidence, strength, and clarity.
Marriage is a journey!! We never believed the idea of a fairytale marriage; but on the flip side, we never expected to work this hard for what our marriage is today. Hard work doesn’t always show results on the first, second, or even the third try. Marriage isn’t easy, but nothing worth keeping ever is.
These moves have taught both Marcus and me that we can do anything we put our minds to, when it comes to our marriage or individually. As long was we continue to work together on our goals, pray for one another, and stay equally yoked. We now know that we can achieve anything with God on our side — whether that’s moving across the country, making new friends, buying a new home or even welcoming new twins into the world (just kidding on that last one). lol